I'm a Brave Boy
by Aster's Descendants
Summary: Idiots in high school? Easily dealt with. Mother's flower shop? Nothing to it. Doing all this while taking care of a group of trained killers? NOT A BRAVE ENOUGH BOY FOR THIS!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Whose Idea Was This?**

A sigh escaped his mouth as he clicked the back button on the browser. _Another bad concept made even worse by bad characterization._ The concept he was talking about? Character in the real world plotlines. _Honestly, you'd think these 'authors' would do a better job keeping the characters as themselves. But no, they completely butcher it for some crappy romance plot. This sucks._

Our grouchy protagonist is a 19-year-old (boy) man named Zack. His straight brown hair hung just below his eyebrows, a stark contrast to his hazel colored eyes. The teen read a lot of fanfics online and fancied himself a sort of aficionado of the genre. The anime section was where he spent the most time in, and if you looked at his internet history, you'd find a lot of anime sites. Clad in a grey shirt sporting the Deadpool logo and a pair of jeans, then teen was always showing love for at least one fandom or another.

"I swear these people are idiots that failed English class every single year."

...Or in this case, raging at the bad fics he found. You see, Zack had a strange fondness for the self insert genre, something that was a believed taboo among the fanfiction community. He could see why, but he had a knack for finding a few diamonds in the rough.

"I need food. Seeing this crap is making me get the munchies." He stood up from his chair and went to the kitchen. He rifled through the fridge for a few minutes before pulling out some leftover spaghetti and putting in a bowl. He put the rest back in the fridge before putting the bowl into the microwave and pushing start.

His thoughts drifted back to the bad story he just read. It wasn't that it was poorly written, no, that was fine. What got to him was the fact that his favorite characters were completely butchered for the sake of a poorly written romance subplot. And this one really grinded his gears. _Honestly, after only two days, I doubt Itachi or Deidara develop feelings for some random no-name they're staying with just because of prolonged contact. I mean, COME ON! Ninja are not that slack in their judgement or paranoia in a place they don't know!_ He shook his head to clear away the thoughts. _Boy this is getting to me worse than I thought._

The sound of the microwave going off broke him out of his thoughts and reminded him why he was in the kitchen. Opening the door, Zack flinched at the temperature before grabbing the hem of his shirt and using it like an improvised oven mitt to bring it to the table. He cleared off the pile of Magic cards that were in the process of becoming a deck and set the bowl down.

 _Okay, time to destress with some dank memes,_ he thought, bringing out his phone and pulling up Youtube.

* * *

The sweet sound of power metal filled the two story house as Zack rocked his head back and forth to the beat. His food long since eaten, he got bored of watching dank memes and decided to just listen to music. Currently, he was playing Pokemon Fire Red on his old DS.

 _Maybe once David gets here we can finally get our trade evolution pokemon done._ His best friend of 3 years had promised to trade their Boldore and Gurdurr to evolve them when they started their run of Pokemon Black and White respectively. That was roughly 3 months ago, and Zack was starting to get impatient waiting for his friend to catch up on the story mode of the gen 5 game.

A sound of the doorbell brought him out of his headbanging. Moving quickly to the front of his house, he opened the door to find another young man that stood just a couple inches shorter than him with shaggy, dirty blonde hair. What would have been considered fat from a distance was actually mostly muscle underneath a black Metallica t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

"Sup, weeb?" the teen asked.

"Not much," Zack replied, ignoring the jab at his love of anime. "How about you, nerd?"

"Same. You build your Animar deck yet?"

"No, but I've made progress. It's currently a matter of getting the mana base right."

The larger teen shrugged. "Oh well. You ready to get Gigalith and Conkeldurr?"

Zack smirked. "Took the words right out of my mouth."

The two boys flipped open their respective DS and turned on their games.

* * *

News of Sasori's death spread quickly. Though honestly, it didn't surprise him that much. The puppet boy had been one of, if not, the weakest member due to his own body composition. It was because of his "art" that he was now lying in a crater where the extraction of the One-Tail took place successfully.

 _It's time for me to make my appearance,_ the masked man thought. _Or rather, for Tobi to make an appearance._ He told as much to the "Leaders" of the organization. They agreed, but told him to wait a few days, so he could be properly paired with Deidara. It was because of this that he found himself under cover of one the balconies overlooking the Hidden Rain Village. He pulled a scroll from his cloak and stared at the Kanji marking it as Top Secret.

"Lord Madara," Pein's favorite puppet called. "Is that the weapon you mentioned?"

"Indeed," the masked man replied. "Orochimaru's guards were not even aware of its disappearance before it was too late."

"What sort of weapon is it?" a female voice asked. The both of them turned toward the source, finding a woman with short, light blue hair accented by a paper flower and piercing orange eyes.

"Supposedly," the masked Uchiha explained, "it's a seal that traps the target in an alternate reality. My Sharingan has a similar ability where I can move myself to an alternate dimension or another location in general. However, if what I read is correct, this is only a one way door."

The two leaders looked passive, but the subtle twitch of the eyes spoke volumes of their amazement.

"How could Orochimaru make such a jutsu?" Konan asked.

"He didn't." That got their attention. "He, or rather, his subordinates stole it from Hozuki Castle. This was one of their methods of dealing with prisoners that were rather...problematic."

"Do we have a plan for this...jutsu, then?" Pein asked.

"We'll use one of the tailed beasts as bait, and lure the ninja chasing after us into a false sense of security. Then, when they believe they have us cornered, unleash the jutsu to trap them in another reality."

"Simple, yet effective," Pein observed. "And if this plan doesn't work?"

"If nothing else, it can be used as a burial ground for our members should they be defeated. But if this plan doesn't work, then we destroy the seal it operates on so nobody else may use it."

"How much Chakra does it take?" Konan asked.

Madara unfurled the scroll and showed its contents. "This seal, from what I've observed, is very delicate. It needs equal amounts of chakra of all five natures constantly flowing into it to maintain the entrance. If not, the entrance becomes unstable, and has a possibility of killing the suppliers. This is why it will be a last resort." He rerolled the scroll and placed it in the ginger's hand. "If nothing else, we can test it with Sasori's body after I am introduced."

The duo nodded. "Very well. We'll test it when you and Deidara retrieve his body."

The plan was officially set. There was no foreseeable problem that could happen that they weren't prepared for. Yet for some reason, Konan couldn't shake the foreboding feeling she had.

* * *

Tsunade sighed as Jiraiya finished his report. "What could they plan to do with a scroll stolen from Hozuki Castle?"

"I don't know," Jiraiya replied seriously. "But I can guess. Rumor has it that they used that scroll as a method of either exile or execution. It was for those people that were just problematic enough that their 'normal' method was considered too much. Add that to the fact they only asked for our help because Orochimaru stole the scroll himself, I can only imagine what kind of seal or jutsu they use." He chuckled bitterly. "It almost makes me curious as a seal master."

Tsunade brought out her hidden stash of sake, pouring two shots before handing one to her former teammate. "In any case, we need more information. See if the messenger is still here. We can't afford any assumptions about the contents of that scroll."

Jiraiya sipped his drink before answering. "That messenger hasn't arrived yet. That information came from my spy network. I only noticed him on my way back here. If anything, he should be here by tomorrow with a full mission request."

She nodded. "Alright. Was that all, Jiraiya?"

He shook his head. "There's been a recent epidemic of shinobi hearing strange noises during the night, only to fall unconscious seconds later. When they wake up, all they say is gibberish...or more like, they sing it."

"Why are you telling me a ghost story?" Tsunade snapped.

"Because somebody wrote down a translation of one of those ramblings. It's like they learned another language, but at the cost of most of their sanity." He flipped a piece of paper toward her. "This one seemed the most interesting, as it refers to a possible fall of authority in the Land of Iron."

She opened the paper, unsure of what to expect. Though a poem of some kind was not among the top of the things on that list.

"The Imperial Army was defeated,  
Facing the 500 people of the samurai,  
Surrounded and numerous,  
60 to 1, the sword faces the gun.  
Bushido, dignified,  
It is the last position of the samurai,  
Surrounded and numerous." **(1)**

She read through the paper twice to make sure she read it right. "Were there others that were translated?" Instead of a verbal response, three other papers appeared on here desk. "I see."

"The thing is, those are the only ones that were translated. All the others wrote their gibberish as a new code that we're still trying to figure out. This one, however," he pointed to the middle piece, "is one that's different. It's similar, but it's not the same as the others. So far, it's been the most difficult to translate."

Tsunade rubbed her forehead. "This isn't what I was thinking when I said I wanted something interesting to happen," she grumbled to herself. "Once the messenger comes in, we'll decide what course of action to take."

* * *

" _HE IS THE PRINCE OF THE LAND OF FIFE!  
_ _NOBLE AND TRUE WITH A HEART OF STEEL!  
_ _NOW IT IS LOST VENGEANCE SHALL BE HIS!  
_ _ANGUS MCFIFE IS HIS NAME!"_

The song blared through Zack's room, stirring him from sleep. Shutting off the alarm, he rolled out of bed and put a red bathrobe over his shirtless body before heading downstairs. The sound of talk radio got louder as he entered the kitchen, looking toward his mom.

"Morning, mother," he yawned. "Morning, Zack," the older woman replied. She was an older woman in her late 40's with strawberry blond hair that was grey at the sides. Currently, she wore a plain light blue t-shirt with a pair of worn jeans complete with a pair of grey running shoes.

"What's the plan for today?" Zack asked, going to the cupboard, fishing out a bowl and one of the many boxes of cereal. Once he got himself situated, he started eating while his mother answered him.

"I need to go to Washington Floral for some supplies, then I need to make my deliveries. Hopefully, barring any last minutes orders, we should be relatively relaxed today."

"So, in other words, you're gonna be slammed with a bunch of last minute orders," Zack deadpanned.

"It shouldn't be that bad since there aren't any major holidays coming up for another month, so I'm sure we have nothing to worry about." He shrugged before continuing to eat in silence. It was moments like this that really made him appreciate that he was on Spring Break. No school, time to sleep in, and he could hang out with his friends or screw around on the internet all he wanted. Thankfully he was a senior, so that meant he was on his last year of school.

A thought occurred to him, making him smile and jump in his seat. "I'm excited for this weekend!"

His mom looked at him. "Oh? And why's that?"

"The anime convention in Seattle that's coming up? The one David and I have been prepping to go to for the past month? The one that I've been saving money for since Halloween?"

His mom shook her head. "I got it the first time. How are you getting there?"

"David's driving to one of the bus stations and we're taking a bus to the con itself."

"How long are you planning to be gone?"

"Pretty much all day for the whole weekend. We're heading out about 7 to get food beforehand."

Shaking her head again, Zack's mom sighed. "Alright. Just don't spend all of your money on junk."

 _Have you never been to a gathering like this before? Junk is all there is, and what glorious junk it is!...wait that doesn't sound right._

"I say the same thing to you every time we go to the swap meet in Packwood. Yet look at how many old movies we have now?"

"I'm not the one who buys old movies, your sister is. I buy old books."

Any other talk was silenced by the sound of a loud thud outside. Zack looked out the kitchen window, but saw nothing.

"I'm hoping the neighbors didn't decide to fire a shotgun into the air again," Zack muttered, though his mother heard him.

"That didn't sound like a shotgun," she replied seriously. "Go check the backyard."

Zack nodded and headed for the sliding glass door. _I really hope the neighbors didn't do something stupid again,_ he thought.

He saw it before he opened the door. What looked like a dead body lay in a small crater next to a few piles of smashed wood and metal. The body wore nothing but a pair of pants and sandals, and had a hole on the left side of his chest. The details that really stuck out, however, were the red mop of hair on the body's head and the pulsing, white core with a single kanji symbol on it resting a few feet away.

After putting on a large pair of slip-on shoes, Zack made his way outside to the body. He knelt down and put his fingers to the base of the jaw, trying to feel for a pulse. To his surprise, the body seemed to be made of a very sturdy, very smooth wood. The eyes on the...puppet, for lack of a better term, were wide open and an odd mix of grey and brown. He turned his gaze to the pulsing core and crawled over to it, picking it up.

"I somehow doubt you're something to be messed with. Though, considering the mess you came with, somebody's gonna either clean up or answer to my mom." He shuddered. "And believe me, you don't want to mess with her when it comes to her yard." He then looked back to the aforementioned mess of parts. What looked to be a mess of wood and metal also had some leather glued to certain pieces of wood, practically melted together. "I can only imagine what these must have looked like before. It's like the leather was put on the wood with the most powerful of ultimate superglues."

The core in his hands seemed to vibrate at the praise before releasing an unnoticeable glow that stretched over to a piece of scrap metal. It was the sound of the metal rustling in the pile that caught the young adult's attention. What he saw was a seemingly floating piece of metal waving in the air for a few seconds before plunging half an inch into the ground. It began carving up the yard in a pattern he recognized as a mix of kanji and hiragana.

"Am I being haunted by a Japanese ghost?" He asked himself before looking at the core again. "No…" He looked at the puppet again, then back to the core. He then had an idea. A very, awful idea. A very awful, very stupid idea. One that he figured would be best put into motion with a set of precautions. "I'm gonna bring you inside. My mom is not gonna believe this."

He had just made it to the back door when it opened, revealing his mother looking out cautiously. "Well, what's the damage?" she asked.

"Aside from a new crater in between the patio and junk shed, there's a few piles of junk in the crater and in the middle of it is a wooden, life size puppet of some kind. I think this is supposed to be a prop representing its heart, if the conveniently shaped hole in the chest is any indicator. Think I can leave this with you while I it?" He didn't wait for an answer as he handed the core to his mom and went back outside.

"I swear that kid gives me such a migraine," she sighed, making the core pulse in agreement.

* * *

With a promise to not mess up the house, Zack's mother left to get her flowers while the boy himself went to work dealing with the puppet. How did he do this? By duct taping it to a chair. When he was sure it was secure, he grabbed the core and, after a bit of hesitation, pushed it into the circular hole in the chest.

The effect was almost immediate. The eyes blinked, looking more alive while the rest of the body rattled mutely, like trying to stretch sore muscles.

"So I was right," Zack muttered with a frown. "You really are him."

The puppet's eyes looked to the boy. "And just what made you doubt my identity?" the smooth voice of the puppet asked curiously with a smirk.

"The fact that you're, one, supposed to be fictional, and two, supposed to be dead," Zack replied.

"And just who exactly do you think I am?"

"You're Sasori of the Red Sand. Former ninja of the Hidden Sand Village, and grandson of Lady Chiyo."

Sasori chuckled. "You seem to have done your research, boy."

"Please," Zack scoffed. "All I did was read a few books."

Sasori's face turned emotionless. "Then you know precisely what I can do? What I am?"

"An S-rank mercenary ninja part of an organization called the Akatsuki? A guy who basically turned himself into a puppet because the world is so cruel and art is eternal? Yeah, short version of that, you're an edgelord."

"And just what is your view on art?"

 _How did I know that question was coming?_ "It has many forms. But that's not what matters."

"Then what does?"

"The impression it makes. That's what makes something art. It can be anything, a song, a poem, a game, a picture, and yes, even an explosion. But they all have one thing in common; the impression they leave, and that is something that never goes away."

Sasori hummed in thought before shaking his head. "Why have you tied me up?"

Zack rose an eyebrow. "Did you think I was gonna let guy as well known as you walking around free when I just found you not even an hour ago? I know how most ninja are. They are the ones who kill the first opportunity they get, which is why I have you duct taped to a chair."

"Then why did you put my core back in my body?"

Zack's face went back to being neutral. "I wanted answers. For example, how did you get here?" Sasori didn't answer. "If you don't want to cooperate, I could just slice off a piece of your core until you slowly bleed out."

"I don't think your mother would like that very much."

Zack chuckled. "Who knew the doll had a sense of humor. Fine, if death threats won't work, let's go for the good ol' torture method then."

"And just what might that be?" Sasori asked, only to feel a twinge of fear at the smile the boy gave.

"Tell me, have you ever heard of metalcore?"

* * *

 **1: I put the lyrics through google translate...It's the lyrics for Shiroyama by Sabaton.**

 **A/N: This is another cliche I've seen that I felt the need to try myself. I'll be trying to keep the characters as themselves for the most part and no, there won't be any pairings for this story. Maybe some hints here or there, but nothing really concrete.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Trust the Higher-Ups**

"FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD, TURN THAT NOISE OFF!"

Zack turned the music down. "Then tell me what the last thing you remember is before waking up here."

"All I remember before waking here was dying by Granny Chiyo's and Sakura's hands!"

"And you're absolutely sure about that?"

Sasori took a calming breath. "Yes. I still feel the pain of my own blade piercing my heart. That's not very hard to forget."

Zack sighed. That wasn't much to go on. It was only ten minutes of high pitched growling and electric guitar that Sasori finally broke. He figured it would've been shorter. "Then how are you still alive now?"

"I don't know. One minute, I'm in the ruins of where my last battle took place, the next, I'm waking up here."

 _More answers, but still more questions arise. Like how the hell did he get here?_ He shook his head before asking his final question. "Alright, what do you plan on doing now?"

"Excuse me?"

"Since your here, it's safe to assume multiverse theory is no longer a theory. Therefore, what will your plan be?"

Sasori frowned in thought. As much as he'd like to go back to what little bit of a home he had left, he knew he couldn't. As far as anyone was aware, he was dead. There'd be no reason for him to return. "I don't know."

"In that case, why not stay with us?"

Sasori looked at the boy in surprise before narrowing his eyes. "What do you mean, 'us'?"

"My mom lives here too, in case you forgot. Runs a flower shop out of the house."

"Why ask me to stay here?"

"Well, it's either stay here and work out of my mom's shop, or release you into the world with no knowledge of this place and a horde of rabid fangirls waiting to rip you to shreds."

This made Sasori raise an eyebrow in confusion. What was he talking about? The Akatsuki have no fans outside of those wanting to kill them. And what was this multiverse theory the kid kept talking about? "I think you'll need to explain where exactly I am."

Zack sighed. "You're in Orting, a small town in the state of Washington in the country of the United States of America."

"And where is that in comparison to the Land of Rivers?"

Zack tossed a book at the puppet man, hitting his chest before it dropped into his lap. "Nonexistent." Sasori looked down at the book, his face morphing into one of shock. "Now do you get it? You're in a different world here."

"Why is there a picture of the Nine-Tails' jinchuriki on this book?"

"Because that's who it's named after. A good series too, with 700 chapters to the whole thing."

"Then you know what happens in the future." It wasn't a question, Zack noted.

"What would be the point in telling you?" the student asked. "You have no way of going back, and from what you yourself have told me, you're supposed to be dead. Do you honestly think you'd be received well if you just happened to appear out of thin air from the throes of death?" He didn't have an answer for that. "That's what I thought."

* * *

"It's done, Lord Pein," Konan confirmed as the glowing seal died down. It was one of the few times the whole organization had to gather in the same place to make sure the seal worked properly. It was mainly to make sure they had the correct elements for the seal to work. Since the seal required equal amounts of each chakra type to work, Pein decided it would be wise to use all members available rather than risk something going wrong with Kakuzu's extra hearts.

As a result, Itachi took the fire point, Kisame the water point, Deidara the earth point, Kakuzu the wind point, and Tobi the lightning point. Using Sasori's remains as their test subject, they activated the seal. The glow had briefly blinded those present, but when they got their sight back, Sasori and his puppets were nowhere to be seen.

"And how are we supposed to know it worked?" Deidara panted. Apparently, it had taken more chakra than he thought it would. The other members involved weren't looking much better, even his hyperactive new partner, that seemed to never sit down and shut up, was practically passed out on the floor...or at least he looked like it. The only ones who barely looked worse for wear were Itachi and Kakuzu, but even they were sweating a bit.

"Deidara's right," Kakuzu affirmed. "How do we know it actually worked and didn't just disintegrate the remains?"

"If you are truly that worried," Konan replied, "We could send someone else through the seal once everyone is rested."

They all agreed that would be the best idea.

"So who volunteers to go through?" Pein's voice broke the silence. They all looked to each other, not daring to go first. The leader sighed after a minute. "Very well. Itachi," said man perked slightly at his name, "you will accompany Konan through the seal. If our modifications are correct, then there will be a way to communicate with us on the other side in the form of a book like this." Pein brought a small, black spiral notebook from his robe. "If you write in this book, it will show in another book like it, and vice versa. Whatever happens, you will be easy to contact."

Itachi nodded. Konan hesitated before nodding herself. Anything else to be said was cut off with Hidan collapsing to the ground, shaking.

"What's wrong, Hidan?" Kakuzu grunted, annoyed.

"You're a...you're a...you're a…" Hidan growled.

"A what?"

Hidan's glare snapped up to the leaders...before a flood of gibberish spewed from his mouth.

" _You're a fake, mother f**ker, I hate you, mother f**ker  
_ _I'll break you, mother f**ker, you're mine!  
_ _You're a joke, mother f**ker, you gloat, but you're a sucker  
_ _SUCH A F**KING WASTE OF MY TIME!"_

That was as far as he got before Kakuzu finally pinned him down and sewed his partner's mouth shut. The moment he was done, Hidan stopped moving, falling completely unconscious.

Tobi hopped up raising his hand. "HEY! I've seen this stuff before!"

Deidara groaned. "And where could you have seen this before, Tobi?"

"I heard about this thing happening in the leaf village too!" Out of nowhere, the 'idiot' pulled out a flashlight and held it below his face, turning it on. "People will hear strange noises in the middle of the night before they randomly collapse," he narrated in a spooky, yet still childish, voice. "But when they wake up…they start singing some kind of song in gibberish! If they write the songs down, however, they could be translated into tales of great battles, or even predictions of the future!"

Deidara hit his partner on the head. "We don't need some stupid ghost story, you moron!"

"Except," a new voice cut in, "it isn't one. **We saw the results of such translations.** " Everyone turned to the black and white humanoid with a venus fly trap on his shoulders. "People that wrote down a song were in the process of getting it translated. So far, they had three of them done. **We copied one down as an example. Hidan sounded like he was speaking the same gibberish that was translated.** "

Pein took the slip of paper that Zetsu handed him. On it was a rough translation next to whatever language the gibberish looked like.

"March to the beat of thousands of feet  
It's an army on the march.  
Far away from home  
Pay the price in a young man's life.  
March to the beat of thousands of feet  
It's a desperate army.  
Mud to their knees,  
There's no way out of the trench." **(1)**

"That obviously isn't what our dear jashinist was singing," Zetsu continued.

"It doesn't matter," Pein concluded. "It seems that if this is a recent development, then it can be considered a side effect of the seal's use. As soon as everyone is rested, we will activate the seal again, sending Konan and Itachi through."

Nobody argued with that.

* * *

It had been a day since Sasori was given the green light to stay. Zack's mom's nearly had a heart attack seeing the puppet moving on it's own, but reluctantly agreed to let him stay as long as he helped out around the house and in the shop. In the small amount of downtime between watching the shop, and helping Zack's mother with her deliveries, Zack took it upon himself to teach Sasori how to play Magic. The puppet was a little curious, but had his interest piqued by seeing the art on the cards.

It was during one of these introductory sessions that two more booms rattled the house from the backyard. The boy got up from the table and looked in the backyard through the sliding glass door. He saw two bodies occupying the spots that two of the puppet remains used to. Two, black robe clad, unconscious bodies laying in undignified heaps. The main thing that told the two apart were the hair colors, one black, the other a light blue with a paper rose.

"Well," Sasori smirked, "it would seem you have more guests to attend to."

Zack glared at Sasori's reflection in the window before sighing. "Pause the game and help me get those two on the couch?"

"And just what would I have to gain from it?" Sasori asked.

"The chance to see Itachi tied up like you just were, as well as blindfolded, while I give him and the assistant boss the ground rules here...or would that kind of thing appeal more to Deidara?"

The redhead chuckled. "While it would normally appeal more to the brat, I feel it best to not have them wake up tied to a chair." He then stared at the two outside the window. "Knowing them, they are probably the deadliest members of the organization outside of Pein himself. At the same time though, they are the quieter members. They should know not to make a mess of things while they are here."

"Still, will you at least help me get them in here? Preferably before they wake up and think I'm kidnapping them?" Sasori just rose an eyebrow. "Yeah, realized it the moment I said it."

He shrugged. "Very well. I'll help. It's not like I have anything better to do anyway." The puppet stood up and walked outside, waiting at the crash site for Zack while said boy closed the door.

"So how will we do this?" Sasori asked.

"First off, question," Zack replied, holding up a finger. "Which puppet is that?" he asked, pointing at the last pile of remains. It took Sasori all of two seconds to glance at the pile and get his answer, a frown marring his features.

"It's one of my favorites, The Third Kazekage." He sighed again. "It will be a pain to put him back together again."

"Worry about it later. Let's get these two inside." Zack slid into the crater and toward the female of the duo. Hooking her arm around his shoulder, he hoisted her up, bringing her other arm around to hold them in front. He was only moderately surprised that she was just a little shorter than his 6'3" slim body, but not much more than how light she was.

It was a simple matter, getting the two inside and set up on the reclining ends of the couch. All that was left to do was wait for the two of them to wake up.

* * *

"Swing with everything, as well as Kaalia," Zack stated, "triggering her ability, which lets me put any angel, demon or dragon from my hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking, in this case, Akroma, Angel of Fury, and that's game."

"Before damage," Sasori replied, "I play 'Go for the Throat', destroying Akroma."

"Wrong, thanks to my Odric, Lunarch Marshal, all of my creatures have indestructible because of Ormendahl possessing it. That's game."

Sasori muttered a curse before picking up the deck of cards and shuffling them. "This is a very interesting game. If only for the art style rather than the actual play."

Zack shrugged. "Magic is a pretty solid strategy game. Certain card combos can practically break the game because of how some decks are built."

"Like what?"

"Well, there's the combo Sanguine Bond and Exquisite Blood, basically making an infinite loop of life draining. Or the worst of the bunch, Omniscience and Enter the Infinite."

"What do those do?"

"Omniscience says you can play all cards in your hand for free. Enter the Infinite says draw your entire deck then put one card back on top of your deck. Play them both, and you basically have permission to barf all over the board."

Sasori nodded. "I see how that would break the game."

Zack suddenly straightened in his seat. "I think it's time we greeted my other guests."

"Why do you say...oh."

"Because one of them is currently holding a sharp object near my carotid artery."

Sasori moved his gaze to the figure behind his host. "Konan, what a surprise to see you awake."

"Who are you?" Konan asked bluntly.

"I'm Sasori of the Red Sand."

"No you aren't. Sasori died a week ago."

Zack perked at this. "A week ago? But he showed up here just yesterday." Konan pushed the kunai closer into his neck.

"Where are we?" Her expression hadn't changed, but Zack could hear the edge in her voice promising pain.

"The small town of Orting, Washington, USA, Planet Earth," the boy grit out. "I just went through this with your friend over here yesterday."

Her pressure on the boy's throat relaxed a bit, but the knife stayed where it was. "Explain," she ordered.

"Can we wait for the other guy to wake up, so I don't repeat myself more than I have to?"

Konan hesitated before nodding. "Very well." She pulled the knife away and put it back in its holster.

"Now then, if this is going to be a thing, I need to call my mother before more of you pop up unexpectedly." Zack got up and pulled his phone out, speed dialing his mom's number.

Konan looked back to Sasori as the boy walked off. "What happened? How are you alive again?"

Sasori shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is that after I was sure I was dead, I woke up hearing the boy's voice. He interrogated me briefly, then allowed me to stay on the condition of helping his mother manage her shop. We were in the middle of a nice little card game when you and Itachi showed up."

Konan rose an eyebrow. "How did he interrogate you? He's a civilian, isn't he?"

"My core and my body were separate when I arrived. Before he placed the two together again, he bound me to a chair and began asking questions."

Konan looked over the puppet's body. "You don't seem damaged in any way."

"Physically, I am fine."

"Physically?"

"When he interrogated me, he used a rather unorthodox method." Konan said nothing, prompting the redhead to continue. "At first he threatened to cut off pieces of my core until I finally died again, but then he decided to use something he called… 'metalcore' to get me to talk."

"And just what is this metalcore?"

Sasori shook his head. "The only way I can describe it is high pitched growling and screaming. I could only last ten minutes."

Konan's eyes widened minutely at this information. Sasori was known for being practically emotionless, and for him to break in only ten minutes spoke either of his true lack of mental fortitude, or the effectiveness of whatever this metalcore was. "What did you tell him?"

"Only what I remembered. In return, he gave me information on where we are...and I will hold off on telling you about that."

"Why not tell me now?"

"Because like him, I'd rather not repeat myself. So it's better to wait until Itachi wakes up."

Zack's voice carried from the other room. "...I'm about to explain the rules to them...yeah, I know...I already have a plan for that...well, it's not my fault they-...Look, despite what you think, they're very well known...listen, should any more of them show up, I'll be making a poster of rules should they decide to stay here...Okay...yeah...I'll see you when you come back...okay, bye." He sighed, mumbling something about naggy mothers before shouting, "Is Itachi awake yet?"

* * *

It was another hour before Itachi woke up. At that point, I had the poster of rules about halfway done and told him to wait with Konan and Sasori until I had it completely done. He did so, his face completely unreadable as he saw the other two playing with my Magic decks. Apparently, the game was interesting enough for them that Sasori had not only memorized the rules in the few games we played, but was good enough to teach Itachi and Konan how. Ninjas…

I sighed, feeling accomplished in my work before I brought it to the living room where my guests were playing Magic. "Alright," I called, getting their full attention, "listen up, everyone. Rules are as follows. Number 1, no killing anyone. It's probably pretty obvious that you could curbstomp pretty much every civilian here, and I'd rather not have the police here to test how bulletproof you are." They glanced at each other briefly before turning back to me. "Number 2, no using chakra in public. There will be a few exceptions, but general consensus is this. We don't want more attention drawn to you because you have abilities that people here do not. Number 3, as long as you stay here, you're either working for my mother or going to school when it starts back up."

"Why would we need to go to school?" Itachi asked.

"Because while you may be adults in the ninja world, here, most people our age still go to school. We graduate high school at the age of 18, then move on to either join the workforce or get an even higher education which can last an extra 2-8 years, depending on your choice of study. And the fact that a good chunk of you guys are still young enough to pass as teens means some will be going back to school with me."

"What do you mean, 'some of us'?" Konan asked.

"If this is anything to go by, more of you are going to show up here for some reason or another. When that will be, I don't know. But It's better to be prepared for when the real idiots get here." They didn't argue against that. "Are these rules sufficient enough for you? Or will more need to be added as we go?"

Konan nodded. "These rules are sufficient for now."

"Good. Now, I think it's time we made a food run."

 **1: Song put through Google Translate: The Price of a Mile by Sabaton**

 **A/N: So, There's no excuse for why this took so long other than I'm playing it by ear and this story isn't my top priority. Currently, that position belongs to Sham Pain, which I think is a vast improvement compared to my other stories.**

 **Anyways, I hope this chapter is satisfactory for you guys. Review, Follow, Favorite, and I'll see you next time.**


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